


Confidence

by BrokenBones (Hikarinimichitasora)



Series: One Shots and Writing Prompts [16]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M, NSFW, self-confidence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-05
Updated: 2014-07-05
Packaged: 2018-02-07 13:56:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1901565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hikarinimichitasora/pseuds/BrokenBones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He is not a sexual person. Or at least, that’s what he’d told himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Confidence

**Author's Note:**

> For ussdamnitjim's prompt: Smut prompt (if you do them - if not, anything fluffy): Ever since the divorce, Bones self-confidence when it comes to his body and sex in general has been almost non existent. That slowly begins to change when he meets Jim.

He is not a sexual person. Or at least, that’s what he’d told himself. The truth was, he liked sex plenty when he was having it. During those early days of marriage, he had no problem stripping down and experimenting with pretty much anything he and Jocelyn felt like trying.

Then it had stopped. It wasn’t like turning off a tap, but they just had less and less sex. Then Joanna was born and it was like a drought. They had time to be Mom and Dad, Doctor and Lawyer, but not Husband and Wife.

And then there was the divorce and the accusations and the disgusting horrible truth shoved in his face that Jocelyn hadn’t stopped having sex, she just hadn’t been having it with him.

He’d let himself go after that. When he’d stumbled onto that Starfleet shuttle, he knew he was too disgusting to be attractive to anyone. Even ‘fuck everyone and everything’ Jim Kirk.

But then things had changed. Jim Kirk didn’t leave him alone. He rechristened him and pushed and prodded and forced him to do things he hadn’t thought he was capable of.

His body hardened through the training. When he looked in the mirror, he didn’t see a flabby, washed-up drunk anymore. He saw someone who might be attractive again.

His first date after the divorce was still a disaster though. He couldn’t perform and she left in disgust. Jim returned a few hours later and didn’t ask him how it went. Instead he got a bottle of whiskey and just talked shit about the stars and the new ship that they were building in Iowa and how they were going to sail the black one day, taking on the galaxy one planet at a time.

It was looking into Jim’s eyes in that moment, that Leonard began to realise that his confidence had come, not from having to run stupid distances in ridiculous times, but from the man in front of him.

Jim had never once put him down. When Leonard failed, he didn’t write him off. He raged that the test wasn’t fair, or that the system was corrupt. He saw something in Leonard that Leonard couldn’t see in himself.

The first time they kissed, Leonard wasn’t sure what he expected. He didn’t expect the explosion of heat in his stomach, or the way his hands would shake with the burning need to divest Jim of as much clothing as possible.

When Jim’s hands rested against his own, guiding them under his shirt, over ribs and scars and muscle, Leonard had cursed himself. He wasn’t going to be any good at this. He was going to fail and Jim was going to laugh at him and he’d lose the one good friend he had.

But Jim didn’t laugh. He laid back on the bed, shedding his shirt and raising his eyebrows. He smirked, but not mockingly. It was a challenge.  _Rise to it._  And Bones stared at Jim for a moment before taking control of himself.

It helped to see it like surgery. And in a way, he was slowly, methodically, taking Jim apart. Each gasp and moan was a sign that he was doing it right. His hands stopped shaking, the squirming in his stomach turned to butterflies and his heart was racing with something else other than anxiety.

"Bones…" Jim gasped and his back arched upwards. Bones licked the moans from his mouth, his hands pushing pants down slim hips. He could still hear the horrible, nagging doubt in the back of his mind but it was muted every time Jim gasped out his name.

Tasting Jim for the first time, hearing the quiet encouragements and what was almost certainly blasphemy, made his whole body feel alive. Then Jim pulled him up, pressing sloppy kisses against his mouth, groaning and pulling Leonard against him, grinding his hips upwards desperately.

"God… If I’d known it was going to be this good, I’d have jumped you on the first day," Jim whispered, throat hoarse and pupils blown with desire. Bones felt his throat close up.

"I wasn’t much to look at then, Jim," he said, reaching between them and stroking over Jim’s erection teasingly. It twitched in his hand. Jim bit his lip.

"You have no idea, Bones… You’re so… fucking sexy. And the accent… Jesus, stop that I’m trying to talk, damnit," Jim laughed slightly, but his hips still bucked up into the touch. Leonard looked down at him, wondering how it was that Jim could say that, how it was that Jim could  _see_  that when no one else could.

"Darlin’, you’re touched in the head," he said. He was surprised by Jim’s reaction. Jim reached down, pulling his hand away and looking up at him. For a long moment, Leonard just looked back, not sure what Jim was looking for.

"Fuck. You really believe that, don’t you?" Jim asked. Leonard frowned.

"Jim, I know that I’m not exactly the catch of the century," he said. Jim’s mouth opened and closed a few times before he grabbed Leonard’s neck and pulled him forward, kissing him with what seemed like fury.

"Whoever the fuck… told you that… is a fucking asshole," Jim said, not breaking the kiss for long to get his words out. His whole body surged, pushing closer and closer until they were pressed together from head to foot, and still Jim didn’t seem to think it was enough.

"You’re fuckable, Doctor McCoy. I’m not fucking you out of ‘pity’ or something. You’re sexy, your voice, your eyes, that fucking mouth…" Jim nibbled at his lip then. "You’re already in my top three lays, and we haven’t even got to the point where I ride you until you scream my name yet."

Leonard swallowed the lump in his throat as he imagined what that would look like. Jim smirked at him. “Or maybe I’ll let you take control, pin me down and make me cum so much I can’t get out of bed tomorrow and have to get a doctor’s note?”

Leonard groaned and tried to banish the images. He wasn’t sure what he’d done to deserve this, to deserve someone who clearly was so experienced in sex, who enjoyed it so much, to waste their time with him.

"Bones… No… Leonard," Jim took a deep breath. "You’re going to fuck me now. And I’m going to enjoy it. You know why? Because to me, you’re fucking amazing. Everything about you. You’re intelligent, a man of principle and, judging from that bulge in your boxers, packing. So please please please get over yourself now and can we get to the good part?"

Leonard pushed Jim back against the bed, watching as his eyes danced with joy at getting what he wanted.

"Thanks for the pep talk, kid," he said, trying to sound gruff and sarcastic. Jim just smirked at him and stretched, pulling every muscle in his body taut and making Leonard’s mouth dry.

"Well if you want me to shut up, you know what you can do, right?" he prompted. Leonard raised an eyebrow and if all Jim Kirk said for the next few hours was ‘God’, ‘Bones’ and combinations thereof, well, Leonard thought that it was just a good exercise in having self-confidence.


End file.
